Saturday, November 27, 2010

Going Insane

I rarely stop moving, stop thinking, or stop doing. Even when I am sleeping, I thrash about. I often read books twice over because I can't focus enough to get much meaningful from them. I don't know why I pay for the theater because often my mind is lost in thoughts. I should have someone with me constantly, whether they are talking or not because I should not be left to my own devices.
This week, I have been lucky enough to have my mom and my sister with me. We didn't do much but it was great to have someone with me. When they left, I cleaned, which I often do to relieve stress or anger. I think today I was stressed being alone. I made chili, I watched a lot of boring tv, I stared into facebook way too much, drank one too many glasses of wine, and I did little of great importance. I also cleaned to keep my mind from wandering. Since I have no one keeping me in check, I have to do it myself.
I wonder what would happen if I was left alone for too long. Would I do something I regret? Would I go mentally insane? Wouldn't that be terrible if I went crazy?

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