Saturday, December 25, 2010

Part of the Crisis

What am I doing with my life? That is a typical quarter life crisis question and I find myself asking myself that question more and more. I feel like I am just floating, waiting, wasting time. What am I doing with my life? I work a lot, I like what I do, but what am I actually doing? Ah yes, I do a good job, my boss tells me every day but shouldn't I think I am doing a good job?
Now, I am confusing myself. I do think I am doing a good job but not at what I think I should be doing a good job with. Not only do I do everything I should and more but people trust me and rely on me. I know I am worth something where I work... but I want to mean something to the kids I go to work for, not my coworkers, not my boss.
I took the last year off school because I felt like I was wasting money not knowing what I was doing. Now, I think I have finally decided on Elementary Education. I have thought a lot about this and am excited to go back to school. The break has been nice and I think has helped me refocus my life, what I want to do in my future.
Another part of the crisis is that I question my inadequacies to maintain a relationship. Not only do I struggle with maintaining but acquiring. I can't even tell you how many friends I have that have gotten engaged or married this year. What about me? I know I have asked this before but the question hasn't been answered.
I pretty much hate having quarter life crisis because it sucks. I would like to stop thinking about why my life sucks and move on.

No comments: